Ri Roooh Roo

I was sitting at a restaurant, waiting for my lunch companion to arrive, when WonderWife™ called.

“Do you have a second?” she asked.

“Sure.”

“Listen to this,” she said. “Sprout, say ‘I love you.' Say ‘I love you.’"

I could hear the rustling sound of the phone being shifted about. In the background Sprout’s voice came through, uttering something with the same cadence and syllables.

It sounded like, “Ri roooh roo.”

“Baby,” I said to my wife. “You know those people who think their dogs are saying ‘I love you’ and send it to America’s Funniest Videos? You’re doing that right now.”

Morning Sanctuary

Every single morning I peel myself out of bed and quickly stumble towards the bathroom looking like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein. The bed's gravity is strong and if I don't get out of it's pull quickly, I will snap back to the mattress and return to slumber, thus shirking my parental responsibilities, rendering myself late for work and my son late for school and pissing off my wife, who already has enough to do without me doubling her workload. Still every single morning waking up is a fight. This has been especially true lately since WonderWife™ cajoled me into waking up earlier.

Working late as I do, I don't get to spend enough quality time with my kids. For a while, my time with them seemed to consist entirely of me barking orders at them like a drill sergeant: Brush your teeth! Get dressed! Flush the toilet! Put on your pajamas! For the love of jeebus flush the toilet! This began to take its toll on my relationship with my kids. So WonderWife™ kindly suggested that I get my ass out of bed a little earlier to allow for some playtime in the mornings. Of course she was right, she's always right. But that doesn't make waking up any easier.

In the morning, the bathroom becomes my sanctuary where I transform from sleepy zombie into a human being. I focus my thoughts and get ready for the day. Because once I step through the bedroom door, it's showtime. Daddy must be "on" for two kids who wake up filled with enthusiasm and energy reserved only for the young. But in the bathroom, I can ease into the day like a car warming up on a cold winter morning. I don't have to talk. I don't have to think. I can just let the warm shower force me awake.

Yet lately my solitude has been disrupted. While I'm in the shower the bathroom door will slowly creek open followed by one or two sets of feet. One or both of my kids will pad in and greet me with a big, bright, "Hi Daddy!" Rack up another concession to parenting. My serene morning has dissolved and showtime has begun early.

View From the Back

Today at Hot Dads:

An open letter to my digital camera, who like it or not, shows me my many sides.

Click on over there and check it out.

An Experiment

I have to be honest with you, this writing thing is hard. Coming up with two or three posts a week about my boring life is challenging. My kids are hilarious, but not all of the time. New food products only come out every so often and we're still a year and a half away from Michael Bay's next movie, so I have very little to complain about there. I sometimes think about taking a sabbatical when the creative juices start to run dry. But honestly, I love writing too much to stop.

So with that said, I need your help with an experiment. I would love for you, my awesome readers, to provide some grist for the writing mill and interview me. Ask me some questions and I will work to turn the answers into what I hope are entertaining posts for you. Is there anything you want to know about me? Are there topics you'd like me to write about? My philosophies about parenting? Music? Movies? Are there things you hate that I write about? Who would win in a fight, a Wookie or an Orc?

If you're interested in playing, leave a question in the comments or send me an email.

This is either going to be great or a total disaster. Either way, I thank you guys for continuing to read.

Baby Ruth Crisp

I know it's post-Halloween and you're all candied out, but lookit what I found on the shelves of the 'Sev!:

I'm a big fan of the "Crisp" bars. Kit Kats are great. Reeses Sticks are divine and Butterfinger Crisp just might be better than the original. I dig the way Crisp bars manage to keep the flavor of the bar they emulate while providing a completely different texture.

Baby Ruth Crisp offers the chocolate, peanuts and caramel of the original but adds layers of wafer and creme. As WonderWife™ and I dug into our Crisps, she told me that Baby Ruth just might be one of her favorite candy bars. While I like Baby Ruth, it's never placed in my top 5. But the Crisp is really good. Like the ones that have come before it, the signature Baby Ruth flavor is totally intact, but with a light crunchy texture from the wafers. The hit of salt from the peanuts seemed more prominent and the creme between the wafers is sweet, but compliments the chocolate well.

WonderWife™ and I both wished the peanuts had been more finely chopped and I thought that the layer of caramel was too heavy and chewy compared to the more delicate wafers. But these are minor complaints. The verdict on BRC was unanimous that it was not only tasty, but a total buy-again.

Fruit Salad

Like Babe Ruth calling out his shot, the Bean decided in June what he wanted to be for Halloween this year. Apropos of nothing one day he declared, “I want to be a banana for Halloween.”

I had my doubts. Halloween was four months away and I figured that he would decide to be a character from Cars or learn that a from a friend at school was going to be Batman or something and he'd change his mind. However, WonderWife™ was confident in his decision. She recalled how last year the Bean got it in his head very early that he wanted to be a cat, even though at 2 ½, he barely had any idea of what Halloween was all about.

WW™ was right (of course) and sure enough the Bean is going to be a Banana. More than that, he’s also dictated what costumes Sprout and I are to wear. Last year I went as the patient from the game Operation. This year, I have been instructed that I am to be an apple. Sprout is going to be a blueberry. Since the Bean did not chose a costume for WW™, to complete the picture she is dressing as Carmen Miranda.

So if you see a bunch of fruit and a foxy woman in a colorful dress out trick-or-treating this year, you’ll know it’s the Geek Boy clan.

Happy Halloween!

Ghost Story

It's Halloween week over at the Venus vs. Mars blog and I'm there today to share a story. Here's a peek:

To this day I can’t explain what actually happened that night, but not a Halloween has gone by since that I haven’t thought about it.

Click over there to check it out. Happy (early) Halloween.